Patient, Volunteer & Sunflower - Jayde Harris-Lehman

This is the single most difficult piece I will ever write. Being humble is something that I feel is incredibly important, but sometimes this leads to me downplaying obstacles and achievements in my life. However, I think it's time to tell the people who may not have been with me through all of my life, the ups and the downs that I have encountered. I conducted this blog process very similarly to how I have with my past blog subjects because I wanted to feel the same way they felt. Answering my questions as openly and honestly as everyone else, presented some major internal evaluation for me, but I am excited to officially introduce all of myself to you.

Accra, Ghana

Patient

Everyone goes into high school having expectations for their time there. My high school experience definitely did not go the way that I had imagined or hoped for. At the start of my second semester as a sophomore, my life became a painful time, both physically and mentally. The very first procedure I had on my stomach was the removal of my appendix which eventually led to two more exploratory surgeries, tons of steroid, cortisone and botox shots, and two experimental procedures known as cryoablation. Due to extreme pain and bruising around my smallest (now biggest) scar, doctors were doing everything they could to determine what was going with me after countless ER visits, hospital stays and appointments. The final answer I received was nerve damage. Nerve damage had taken all that I knew in life and turned it upside down. I had gone from competing and playing beach volleyball all over the country 6 to 7 days a week with high school basketball 5 days a week to having days where I could not even get out of bed or stand long enough to take a shower by myself. In between dealing with nerve damage, I also was plagued with multiple rounds of kidney stones, cysts, ulcers and having to switch to online school because my public school could not accommodate to my medical needs. Physically, I had gained weight and walked hunched over, but mentally I struggled even worse than what people saw. Before gaining weight, I had never even considered my body as being anything other than something that got me from point A to B. However, I began to hate my body, as soon as, others began to comment on my weight difference. Even now I still struggle with remembering my old "body" and wanting it back, but most days I am able to tell myself that the scars I wear tell a story and make me, me.

Volunteer

Being able to go to college was a big deal for me because most of high school I wasn't even physically able to walk to a class. My first year of university was at Texas A&M - Corpus Christi and it was an amazing school in a town I fell in love with. Even though I made good grades and was enjoying my time socially, it was not where my heart wanted to be. I found an organization and decided I wanted to volunteer in Ghana for four months while my fiancé then, husband now, was on his second deployment with the Army. This trip was the best and worst experience of my entire life which is pretty cool as it was my first trip outside of the country and first solo trip anywhere! For just about 120 days, I played with, taught lessons to, administered healthcare and learned about the 140 children who reside at Potter's Village in Dodowa, Ghana. These kids and the Ghanian culture gave me so much insight into the world around me and the positive nature I wanted to exude to others. While I was there I had the opportunity to meet people from all different countries with an array of interests and backgrounds, which allowed me to grow and truly identify who I was as a person. I have always been into writing and photography, but I had never viewed them as anymore than a hobby. However, after my time in Ghana I have become set in my pursuit to become a journalist, as well as, develop my craft as a photographer and in the near future start my own photography business. Although being a volunteer came with its challenges, cultural differences and "burn out" effect, the experience is something that I will hold with me forever.

Sunflower

Positivity is always something I have strived for which is one of the main reasons why I resonate so well with sunflowers. I once read a quote by an unknown author that said "I want to be like a sunflower; so that even on the darkest days I will stand tall and find the sunlight." This quote has given me strength in my struggles with anxiety and panic attacks, as well as, at the height of my physical medical issues. Although my husband, Talon, and emotional support animal, Scooter, help me immensely overcome any obstacle I face, sometimes I need a little reminder of who I am and what I have left to give this world. On each wrist I have a tattoo of something that reminds me of the strength I have. Located on my left wrist is my sunflower because no matter what negativity is surrounding me on a particular day, I have a sunflower to tell me to stand tall and find the sun. (Tattoo by @williamberrytattoo) On my right wrist I have the words "Go Jayde" because on my days where I am proud of a small or large accomplishment I like to say that phrase to myself, but on days where my confidence waivers I can look down and remind myself that sometimes the simple act of crawling out of bed is a "Go Jayde" moment. (Tattoo by @k2l2art) Tattoos have given myself daily reminders, but they also give me the opportunity to speak openly with others about my own struggles and theirs. Whether it's with my personality or the art on my arms, I am always on the pursuit to be a sunflower in others lives' and my own.

First two photos by Sarah & Paul Photography

Sitting here telling the internet about who I am and what I think they should know has given me growth and a bit of anxiety. With that being said, that is who I am. I am a whole mess who still smiles at every passing person and wishes for nothing more than peace in my world. My goal for this whole blog was to give others the opportunity to get to know people they would likely pass by and never think about again. It is my hope with the people I have been given the opportunity to introduce you to and my own story that you take a second to speak with someone that you have not given yourself the chance to meet. Use your introduction to the strangers around you as a way to grow as a person and most importantly, become a sunflower in their lives.